Robert Priest


On CBC Newsworld: Oh Canada for dummies eh

When the new U.S. ambassador to Canada turned out not to know much about the country - including the name of our

national anthem, CBC Sunday Night News commissioned a song to help educate him. Below is what Robert came up with.

O Canada for Dummies eh

We got a pretty little beaver on our nickelback

The dollars gotta picture of the queen

I'll be out front - we didn't back iraq

Prime minister's a guy named mr. poutine

Cause its o canada for dummies eh

We got wood for the u.s.a

A democratic government no need to invade

Our fair country

We got gay married couples smoking near legal pot

Catchin zeds but not catchin zees

We had a a brief thing with beef but now our cow's ain't got

A single new case of mad cow disease

It's yer o Canada for dummies son

The undefended border is a thousand miles long

Since the war of 1812 which by the way we won

In our fair country

We got no hockey

So we cannot be defeated

We got no cod

Because the fisheries depleted

We caught the seal who did it

But we're not allowed to beat it

Cause there's no death penalty

In our fair country

We got wmds - but their white male dudes

They tend to be the ones we elect

Then there's the Quebecois don't say pea soup

Cause that would be politically incorrect

In your o Canada for dummies eh

We're cool on the bushes but in centigrade

Beware our beer it'll blow you away

In our fair country

In your O Canada pour les dummies see

We used to have forests but we sold 'em for free

WE stand on guard for healthcare and the C.B.C.

In our fair country

O Canada our stolen native land


The Milton Acorn Memorial People's Poetry Award, 1989
Special Choice Award, Children's Book Centre, 1993
Socan Airplay Award, 1994
Chalmer's Award, Theatre for Young Audiences, 1998

416 466-0047

197 1/2 Jones Ave, Toronto, ON, Canada, M4M 3A2 If you want to book Robert as a singer/songwriter call 416 466-0047 or email

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